(any names used in this piece are coincidental and not directly tied to families with whom I work…)
I like to think that I’m a good listener, but we all have shortcomings.
I knew that the moment Frankie’s Mom asked me what I thought about changing a part of his program. I was not completely listening, and I didn’t know how to respond. As educators, we hold the expertise and we control the jargon. We use the words that parents might not know, we can hide behind the test score, but the real craft comes from explaining and making things clear.
That is the true goal: having a real conversation and being clear with a family about what is happening and what needs to happen going forward.
When pressed, I admitted I didn’t fully understand the change and I asked for clarity. What would this change mean? Are we talking about leveling the field for a student who has challenges learning, or are we adding an accommodation that does not really help the student catch up and do the same work as peers, but instead lessens the demand?
When you work in special education, it can be hard to draw certain lines. Are we compensating for a challenge and letting a student access information through a different form (i.e.; listening to something instead of reading it) or are we making it too easy for the student? And when I say easier, it’s not about accessing the curriculum easier, but lessening what a student has to show to demonstrate knowledge of a topic. Once again, these are not easy lines to draw.
The case for Frankie required more thought and being clear with the parent. If we did X, then how would we know Y… If we do X, how will fade out that assistance when Frankie gets better at the task down the line? These are the things that don’t initially seem clear. These are the things that honest conversation can help uncover so you can make the best decision with the information on hand. Knee jerk reactions to appease parents don’t necessarily work, and all options need to be considered.
While some of these details might be lost on the general educator, or even a parent just starting out in the world of having their child educated, the reality is perspective is only gained when both parties listen. Parents want the most for their child and while educators do too, they are limited at times. There is only so much time, and influences abound in the classroom. Listen first, gain perspective, then work to move forward.
