A few years ago, there was a shift in the leadership in my school building. Today was the last meeting I ran in that role, and it led me to an important reflection on the words we use and the power that they possess.
There are different social structures in any place that you work. There are cliques and groups and people who would prefer to be on their own. In education, they often talk about the feeling of isolation in the field. Yes, you can close the door and you are queen or king for that time. On the other hand, there can be times when collaboration is not robust. During COVID time, that robustness has diminished even more. Meetings are on Zoom, there are few times to be collegial, and some of the feelings of isolation can occur.
I was asked to fill in this leadership role and I was initially unsure. Why would people think I could do this? I don’t want to get involved in politics. What does the job entail? I don’t know if I can actually do the job. Unless you’re a very special person, I think there will be doubts whenever you enter a new stage in life. Whether it’s a shift in your role, or a change of job or responsibility, I think it’s actually healthy to have some trepidation. It certainly sharpens the sword and makes you focus.
Needless to say, the leadership role brought both moments of joy and accomplishment and moments of dread and feeling useless. Some folks thank you and some folks ignore you. Some folks don’t even know you are filling in the leadership role.
When you come across jobs or tasks in your life that “have” to be done, how do you look at them?
Is it with frustration?
Is it with a “beginner’s mind” and open eyes?
Do you wade through the task and know that it must be done even though you don’t particularly feel like doing it now?
Do you take on the task and give it your all, no matter how menial or purposeless it might seem?
In his book “Atomic Habits”, James Clear talks about making new habits attractive. You might not want to brush your teeth, or go to the gym, or do a task that you know is going to be hard to do. You might even talk about the task in such a way: I have to go to the gym this morning. This “have to” mentality robs a task of the value that it might have, and it certainly takes away any of the joy.
The author goes on to talk about a shift in language; talking about going from “have” to “get,” and how that can make a change in how your perceive a task. For example, “I get to go to the gym today.” There’s an implicit amount of gratitude in that statement. I am fortunate enough to go to the gym. I can go to the gym, while others may not (whether physically, financially, or some other reason).
When I considered the leadership role, I realized something.
I got to do the job. I got to be a mentor. I got to be a confidant. I got to learn about leadership and working with others. I got to handle difficult situations and learn from them. In the end, I got to learn things about myself and grow from it.
While every opportunity in life might not present you with an enormous amount of bonuses for growth or financial prosperity or improvements in health, or whatever you might think you need, there is still an important amount of perspective that can be brought to the situation.
Instead of having to do things in your life, you get to do them.
When you’re presented with the next opportunity in your life, or there is change on the horizon, try and take that realization with you. It might make all the difference.
