I bite my tongue a lot. I hem and haw. I talk around topics sometimes. Sometimes I don’t mean what I say and say what I don’t mean.
Jerry Colonna, in his book Reboot: Leadership and The Art of Growing Up, taught me to consider the things that I am not saying. This is an important lesson for an educator, a husband, a son, and a father. Leaving important things unsaid or not full realized can lead to a lot of consequences that are both terrible and unintended.
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May I understand that tough things to say need to be said. These words can be said kindly, they can cause fights, and there might actually be growth on the other side of what is said.
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As an educator, things left unsaid can lead to misunderstandings. Things left unsaid can lead to mistrust. Educators need the trust of their colleagues and students to be viable. Tough conversations can be tough, but there might actually be growth on the other side of these exchanges.
As a husband, I need to talk with my wife about our children, our finances, our home, our future… without saying necessary things love and hope can wither. People can think things are being handled and they are not. Asking for help can fall by the wayside and a spouse can feel like they are drowning.
As a son, I need to speak with my parents about my past, my present, and my future. I need to talk with them about their lives, their legacy, and what the future will hold.
As a father, I need to have tough talks with my children every day. I need to counsel them. I need to give advice. I need to talk about choices and what consequences those choices will have. I need to provide guidance. Most importantly, I need to answer questions; sometimes, those answers will be hard to say.
It’s easy to avoid tough conversations. It’s easy to push what needs to be said to the side. It takes courage, more courage than you think you can muster, to say the hard things. The payoff might be better than you think.
